Bathinda to Bangkok Page 13

  I’m not scared of anyone’s Dad in life. No, ji, not. But that look! That was thee look I never ever wanted to see on his face. That’s why I’d walked out of his flat when he was out of the country. That’s why I never ever wanted to discuss thee topic with him.

  Bas, I couldn’t take it anymore. Tears started running down my face and I walked away from him as fast as I could.

  We were sitting alone – Niku, Bhooto and me and having square table conversation.

  I’d gone straight to Dingy’s room, knocked and asked sorry thousand times. But she didn’t open thee door or her mouth.

  That’s how Niku and Bhooto found me. Banging like anything.

  ‘I want to kill that @#$%,’ Niku growled, punching his fist into his hand.

  I closed my eyes as if he’d attacked me. My little Niku giving abuse. Niku was so sweet, so soft, so gentle. I’d seen him like this only once before in life. When he didn’t have money to start his own business.

  ‘I’ll call up Neeru right now, let her also know what flowers her son has been growing behind her backside,’ Bhooto muttered.

  As if Tarzan was second-standard boy who had rung our doorbell and run away.

  ‘Mummyji, please.’

  ‘What please? Had I known was awara aiyash badmash, I’d have never sent you to Delhi.’

  Tarzan wasn’t loose-charactered rascal, I knew that inside my heart. How I could think he’d done bad-bad things like lap dancing with strippers or kissing with Simran? My brain had gone to eat grass.

  ‘He’s not, Mummyji.’ I protested. ‘Please stop blaming him. Two people make baby.’

  ‘Yes, yes, Lavith’s father and Lavith,’ she spat thee words. ‘They are experts at making babies.’

  ‘It’s no one’s fault,’ I said calmly, ‘these things happen.’

  Bhooto was in no mood to be calm. ‘These things happen only to that family. I think so it’s their family business. Have fun with innocent girls and leave them when they get pregnant.’

  ‘That’s not true Mummyji.’

  ‘Then tell truth,’ Niku said.

  Suddenly, his words from earlier in thee evening came back to me.

  ‘Niku, one minute…you told Lavith “Had I known, I’d have never taken your help”…when did you take help?’

  Thee answer came to me by itself.

  ‘You took money from Lavith? For your ASS? For your business?’ I gasped.

  Niku turned redder than Dingy’s wedding lehenga.

  ‘Niku! When? I never knew – you didn’t even tell. How could you keep such big secret from me?’

  ‘Same way you kept such big thing secret from me,’ he replied. ‘Don’t worry, it was before you broke up with him and came back to Ludhiana. I’m not that cheap also.’

  We gave each other dirty looks.

  ‘Whatever happened, happened,’ Bhooto said sadly. ‘Family means trust. Now we’ve to stop keeping secrets from each other. Okay?’

  Suddenly, I felt sad. Oho, not because I fought with Niku, because if Bhooto said thee most sensible thing in thee room, then there was something very wrong in life.

  We used to say such big-big things. That we were like own brother and sister, that we were more than own brother sister. Then why hadn’t I trusted him? Why hadn’t he trusted me?

  ‘I didn’t want you to get worried.’

  ‘I didn’t want you to get worried.’

  Niku and I gave answer at thee same time.

  He jumped to his feet and came over to give me tight hug.

  ‘Sorry, sorry, sorry, Mahi.’

  ‘Give me sorry, Niku. No more secrets, no more fighting, let’s agree.’

  ‘I agree,’ Bhooto replied on his behalf. ‘Hope that Lavith also agrees for marriage.’

  I turned to her and said in firm voice. ‘Mummyji, there will be no marriage. He never wanted to get married –’

  ‘That was before. Things are different now, puttar.’

  ‘No, Mummyji, if he’s not interested, I’m not interested. I can take care of myself.’

  ‘But –’

  ‘She’s right, Mummyji,’ Niku took my side. ‘Why should she live with someone who doesn’t want to live with her?’

  ‘But how will you manage?’ Bhooto cried. ‘It’s not easy being single mother.’

  ‘Many mothers have done it,’ Niku said like he was authority on single mothers.

  ‘Name one,’ Bhooto challenged.

  ‘Preity Zinta –’

  WWW? Preity Zinta had baby? So soon after marriage? Arre, what was thee hurry burry?

  ‘In Kya Kehna. In thee beginning, things were tough, later everything became all right.’ Niku finished.

  ‘That was movie, real life is different, you cannot even imagine how tough life will become. Please don’t misunderstand me, puttar, I’m not thinking of thee society, I’m thinking about you. Please please –’

  I got up to signal that it was thee end of discussion.

  ‘I’m not going to change my mind, Mummyji.’

  ‘Ya,’ she said, wiping her eyes with her dupatta, ‘why will you listen to me, I’m only stepmother. If your real mother was here…’

  I was seeing repeat telecast of Bechari Bhooto serial. She’d done thee same drama, given thee same dialogues, when I’d announced my living-in.

  I flashbacked into that day in Delhi.

  16

  The one with multiple torture scenes

  We were sitting in thee drawing room of our house, having square table meeting. I’d called my cabinet – oho, all thee important people in my life, (except Tarzan because I’d already informed him about my decision).

  I was standing. Bhooto, Niku, Dumpy, Dingy, Sukhna were sitting.

  ‘Thank you for coming. Mummyji, please, can you leave that pakora…’

  Bhooto dropped thee pakora back in thee plate and picked up samosa from another.

  ‘…and thee samosa…’

  Bhooto left thee samosa like she was making ultimate sacrifice. She leaned back on thee sofa, but her eyes never left thee food.

  ‘Please give me hundred percent of your attention.’

  Concerned look came on Niku’s face. ‘You’re okay, na, Mahi. Not in trouble – ?’

  ‘Oye, trouble is mad or what to take panga with her,’ Dumpy waved his worry away, stuffing his mouth with masala peanuts.

  ‘Or ill,’ Niku completed.

  ‘Ill?’ Dumpy brayed like donkey. ‘Look at her, strong like bull.’

  ‘Then why have you called all of us like this, suddenly, in thee middle of Sunday afternoon?’ Dingy asked.

  ‘Ya, that’s what I’m telling,’ Niku agreed.

  ‘She hates being disturbed on her holiday,’ Dingy added.

  ‘Stopped me from eating and not telling also.’

  I peesoed my teeth. If they would let me talk only, no.

  I put my hands on my ears and shouted ‘AAAAAAAAAAA!’

  Everyone put their tongues inside their mouths.

  ‘Nothing’s wrong. I’m not in trouble, thank you, Niku, for your concern. I’m healthy, thank you Dumpy, for thee vote of confidence. I wanted to share something with you all.’

  ‘Lavith’s proposed!’ Dingy screamed, jumping up.

  ‘You’re getting married?’ Dumpy asked.

  ‘Yes and no.’

  Everyone went blink-blink.

  ‘Lavith had proposed. In Chennai. When she’d gone to save him,’ Niku spoke to himself.

  ‘That’s old story,’ Dingy interrupted. ‘Did he propose to you now, Mahi? Did he ask his parents to talk to Pammi Aunty and set thee date?’

  Uff!

  These people were interrupting me like that news channel anchor.

  I held up my hand. ‘Please, can thee questions come after my breaking news?’

  ‘Lavith’s proposed. But not for marriage. For living in relationship. And I’ve said yes.’

  There was graveyard-type silence in thee room.

  Then Bhooto start
ed slapping her forehead.

  ‘It’s all my fault. My brain was dead. I shouldn’t have let you go to Delhi alone to meet him so many times. Like one donkey I thought if you stayed in my sister’s house, you’d be safe, but I was wrong. Hai, hai, what black magic that kameena boy’s done on my flower-like child –’

  ‘Mummyji, please, control.’

  ‘Why, Mahi, why?’ Dingy cried.

  ‘Why he’s asked me or why I’ve said yes?’

  ‘Both,’ Dumpy replied.

  ‘He’s asked me because it’s practical. I can’t keep going to Delhi, he can’t keep coming to Ludhiana –’

  After I’d saved Tarzan from thee Chennai floods, he’d gone back to New York. He’d resigned from his job, sold his flat and furniture and moved to Delhi.

  ‘Arre, what’s more practical than marriage,’ Bhooto cut in. ‘Best solution to your travel problem, best solution to all thee problems in life,’ Bhooto insisted.

  Uff!

  Typical Indian attitude. Boy can’t lift ding-dong? Get him married. Girl working and becoming “too independent”? Get her married.

  ‘I know you love him – we all love him, but –’ Niku began, looking tensed means tensed.

  ‘But can you trust him?’ Dumpy asked.

  ‘Yes, I can.’ I was more confident about thee answer than any participant on KBC (not Kaun Banega Chutiya, thee real show).

  ‘You don’t know these American fellows –’ Dumpy insisted.

  ‘How many American fellows do you know, Dumpy?’ I challenged him.

  He was going to open his mouth, but I added, ‘Don’t count thee heroes of thee movies you watch.’ He shut his mouth.

  ‘But what if he leaves you after few months?’ Bhooto asked, her eyes wider than her waist.

  ‘He’s not like that, Mummyji. And if he has to break up, he can do that after marriage also.’

  Bhooto started slapping her chest.

  ‘I thought you liked him, Mummyji.’

  ‘That was before he proposed, when I thought he was normal.’

  ‘He’s normal, Mummyji. He did it because he loves me.’

  ‘If he loves you, Mahi, why can’t he get married to you?’ Dingy insisted.

  I’d also asked myself thee same question. But I’d explained to myself that Tarzan was different. His thinking was different, more Western. He’d lived in America for ten years, in his adult years. And his childhood years in India, toh don’t ask. They were really tatti. So he was more Phoren Gentleman than Desi Boy.

  ‘See, our courts allow trial period before divorce, no? Why can’t we have trial period before marriage?’ I argued. ‘I’m not saying we’ll never get married. But not right now. Right now, we want to find out more about each other, our likes, dislikes –’

  ‘Mahi, puttar,’ Mummyji cried: ‘I understand that you both want to enjoy life. But if you get married, we all can enjoy together. Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying all this because I’m worried “What will people say”. I’m saying all this because I’m worried about you…’

  I sat down on thee table and took her hands. ‘Mummyji, do you trust me?’

  She nodded.

  ‘Then, please, stop crying, stop worrying. Nothing will happen to me. You heard Dumpy, I’m strong as bull.’

  She wiped her eyes. ‘Ya, ya, why will you listen to me, I’m not your real mother…’

  ‘If you’ve made up your mind, what can we say?’ Niku muttered.

  ‘You can say congrats,’ I said softly.

  He bent forward, put his arms around me and gave me tight hug. Dingy joined in. Dumpy kept distance and kept shaking his head. Meeting got over. So did my flashback.

  But Bhooto did not. Even in thee present, she kept going sob-sob, sniff-sniff, hai-hai.

  I smiled.

  Hain?

  What was happening to me? Instead of getting irritated, I was smiling at Bhooto’s overacting! Hai, I toh was losing my mental balance.

  ‘If you really lov –’ I corrected myself, ‘if you really care about me, Mummyji, promise me that you’ll not talk about marriage to Lavith or to Neeru Aunty.’

  I patted her hand for few more minutes. Then I told them bye and stepped out of thee room.

  And immediately got heart attack.

  Tarzan was standing there. ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘No, we don’t.’ I tried to walk away. But he blocked my way.

  ‘Don’t push it, Mahi,’ he said in warning tone. ‘We’re going to do this whether you like it or not. Now, what’s it going to be? Are you going to come with me to the gym voluntarily or do I have to –’

  He made sudden move as if he was going to lift me up and put me on his shoulder like gunny bag.

  I gulped. He looked like forest animal, capable of doing anything. ‘No need to be rude,’ I said, tossing my head.

  ‘This close,’ he threatened, making close sign with his thumb and index finger to show his patience tank was empty.

  ‘Anyways, I wanted to check out thee gym.’ I said quickly, not taking chance.

  I started walking with him, practising my speech inside my head. His body was hot stove. I could feel thee anger waves coming from it.

  Thee second we entered thee gym, he switched on all thee lights. It was so bright, I’d to close my eyes. Immediately, I was reminded of torture scene from one Hollywood movie I’d seen.

  He went and sat down on workout bench like he wanted to press me. ‘Explain.’

  I went and stood near thee heavyweights to show him I wasn’t less.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but my head was empty. I’d forgotten thee kambakth speech I’d prepared.

  ‘It’s not yours,’ I said thee first thing that came inside my head.

  Thee vein in his forehead jumped dangerously. ‘I’ll give you another chance, Mahi. Try again.’

  Arre, it was PT class or what?

  He started getting up from thee bench.

  ‘Okay, okay, I didn’t tell you because it’s not your problem –’

  ‘It’s not?’

  ‘No. It’s my problem – means, it’s no problem…’

  Uff!

  That was thee problem, I didn’t know what I was talking.

  I took yoga breath. ‘I didn’t want you to feel pressurised. I didn’t want your life to go for toss. I –’

  ‘I see,’ He interrupted, his voice like acid. ‘So you were being cruel to be kind.’

  ‘I didn’t want to force you to take responsibility you didn’t want,’ I continued.

  ‘And you know what I want?’

  ‘Yes, you want to live carefree, happy life…’

  ‘I do,’ he agreed. ‘With you.’

  Tears started to come out, but with great difficulty I swallowed them.

  ‘You aren’t ready to settle down, Lavith.’

  ‘Ready or not, this baby’s my responsibility.’

  My heart squeezed like empty Colgate toothpaste tube. Oho, I never expected him to say, ‘But I’m ready!’, but still, thee truth was painful to hear.

  ‘Don’t worry, Lavith, I’m freeing you from it.’

  His mouth twisted in bitter smile. ‘Thank you for deciding everything for me, Mahi.’

  ‘You’ll thank me later –’

  ‘I’m thanking you right now.’

  ‘Oho, why you’re not understanding.’ I cried, throwing my hands up. ‘This is not some funny joke –’

  ‘Well, you did a fine job of making a mockery out of our relationship.’

  ‘I didn’t make mock – hello, one minute – what relationship are you talking about? You’ve got Aamir Khan’s problem in Ghajni or what? Forgot thee bitter fights we used to have? Please, Lavith, you want something else in life, I want something else –’

  He looked at me like I was doing heavy torture to him. ‘What do you want, Mahi?’

  My shoe, I’d tell him. My foot, I’d beg him.

  ‘Was there anything missing in our relationship?’ he gro
wled.

  Love. Marriage. Children.

  ‘Commitment? Loyalty? Trust?’ he went on. ‘Didn’t we have that and more? I thought – I really thought we understood each other, Mahi. I thought we wanted the same things –’

  I stared at him not able to believe. He was mad or what? He thought I wanted to be in living-in relationship till I was ninety-year old oldie?

  ‘We decided to get into it together.’

  That was toh thee limit only.

  ‘No!’ I shouted. ‘I didn’t decide. You decided. You asked, “Why don’t you move in?” I said “Okay, fine”.’

  He looked like I’d give him tight slap. ‘Wait, you were not fine with it?’

  My expression was clear. How I could be fine with it? As if it was some normal thing like cough-cold. And everyone in India had it at some point or thee other in life.

  ‘Wow, this is news to me,’ he said slowly. ‘If you did have any reservations, why didn’t you say something –’

  ‘Because I didn’t want to break up with you!’

  Dark look came on his face. ‘So you’re saying I arm-twisted you, I emotionally blackmailed you into moving in with me?’

  Arre, why was he putting his things into my mouth?

  ‘No, Lavith,’ I said patiently. ‘I’m saying you gave suggestion, I tried to see it from your point of view, I thought about it and –’

  He walked up to me and looked down into my eyes, his eyes like big balls (oho, of fire). ‘But did you extend me the same courtesy? You felt it wasn’t working out, you decided to end things,’ he growled. ‘You didn’t even give me – us – a chance. You just upped and left, no discussion, nothing.’

  ‘There was,’ I said in choked voice, ‘there is nothing to discuss.’

  ‘Actually, I’m with you on this one,’ he agreed. ‘If my memory serves me right, we’re almost three months along.’

  We?

  Hain?

  When did I make him pregnant?

  ‘We’re getting married right away, Mahi.’

  My heart had breakdown. That’s what I was afraid of. Marriage proposal out of duty, responsibility, force. Marriage proposal without love. He’d said ‘I love you’ when I’d saved him in Chennai. But not once after that. No, ji, not. I think so he was scared that if he said thee three words, I’d say thee three words (‘Let’s get married’).